The End

“Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.”

I used to think this was a really strange ending, kind of abrupt and off topic. But the more I put my own pen to paper and endeavor to capture some glimpse of the divine, the more this seems like the only right ending that there can be.

The artist or writer comes to the end of their project and has to say: God is so much magnificent greatness, more than can be imagined or fathomed, and I have only brought you the tiniest sliver of the glory, but this is the end of my work…for now 🙂

Do You Love Me?

The story of Jesus questioning Peter is one I’ve heard so many times I had a difficult time trying to see it with fresh eyes. As I thought about it I decided it was sort of odd how the whole episode revolves around Jesus asking Peter about Peter’s love. It seems that the majority of the rest of the book, if not the rest of the Bible is pretty much entirely focused on God/ Jesus’s love for us. It would almost make more sense for Jesus to show up and say. “Bro, I know you messed up but I still love you and my love is bigger than your failure etc.” But instead Jesus asks Peter “do you love me?” three times, and then tells him he’s going to die someday. It’s all quite curious.

It seems related to Jesus’s talk in chapter 10 about being a Good Shepherd, and how the good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep. It also seems related to Jesus’s prediction of Peter’s denial. Jesus first tells them to love one another as he loved them, then in the next paragraph he’s asking Peter “will you really lay down your life for me?” and then tells Peter: you will deny me. Then Peter does deny Jesus, and seems vaguely traumatized throughout the rest of the book.

I tried to paint those two episodes (the good shepherd, and the denial) into the sky, but they got a bit covered up, so I’ll show the close ups here:

So, in conclusion, I think Jesus wants Peter to care for “his sheep” in the same way that Jesus did, by giving his life. But in the way that Jesus motivation for giving his life was his love for the father and the sheep, Peter’s motivation will be his love for Jesus. Eventually Peter will get to keep his promise of giving up his life for Jesus, but it will come later and in service of the sheep. I feel like this is a bit of a jumble in my head and I may be missing some connections, but John in just like that, so full of deep symbolism and meaning…

Early Morning Miracle

This isn’t really finished, but I kind of like the dreamy foggy quality of it now. I think this must have been a bit mysterious and disorienting during that early morning appearance of Jesus to the disciples.

This is the beginning of the end, the last chapter and the last story of the book!

Believe: part 2

“Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.”

I never noticed before, but this text being  directly after the episode with Thomas and Jesus’s statement about those who would come to believe in the future makes me want to re-word these verses like this:

Jesus did so many more incredible things, we saw them ourselves and understood what they were pointing too. I know that you didn’t get to see these things for yourself, so thats why I’m writing them down,so that you can understand what we came to realize. The truth is  this: Jesus is the Christ and the son of God. I want you to understand this because in understanding, He will give you eternal life.

It really seems like it could be the end of the book, but wait there’s more…

Believe

It’s probably not surprising that I feel a lot of sympathy and compassion for Thomas, being labeled as the non-believer and hard headed disciple by critics and commentators everywhere. I think Jesus loved Thomas and had compassion for his traumatized state. He may have criticized his non belief, but I’d like to think the moment ended in a hug.

I wanted to capture the idea that in this moment of connection Thomas is able to look back with new clarity and understanding on the events that happened up to this point. Meanwhile, Jesus looks forward toward future people who will find their way to belief without visual evidence.

Here’s the actual verses:

Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came.  So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them,“Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

 Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.”  Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.”  Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!”  Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Peace, Joy, and the Holy Spirit

“Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, ‘Peace be with you.’  When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.  Jesus said to them again,’Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.’  And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit'”

Another joyful occasion! I imagine that there were a lot of emotions bouncing around besides joy, but the texts indicates it was primarily a “glad” occasion. Jesus shares with them as brothers now, and the new family begins the new era in history.

Mary!

 ^“But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb… she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?’ Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, ‘Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.’  Jesus said to her,’Mary.’ She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher).”

Have you ever laughed and cried at the same time? It’s sort of a mess, and a confusing mix of emotions. I think this scene must have been a lot like that, as Mary’s darkness lifts and she recognizes Jesus. It was probably a beautiful mess.

I love this story, and I’ve heard oodles of sermons about it and the beauty of Mary recognizing Jesus when he calls her name. For this piece I wanted to focus on the darkness of despair transitioning to the light of hope, joy, and recognition.

You may note: I intentionally left off the last few lines of the story because they always give me a feeling a bit like this…

and I just don’t feel like that makes sense.  Why would Jesus come to Mary in her sorrow only to rebuke her and tell her to leave him alone? I blame a cultural translation or something…

Who are you seeking?

Here is another word choice mystery that I don’t really understand the significance of:

When Jesus says to Mary in the garden “Woman, why are you weeping? Who are you seeking?” the second half of that feels like an echo of two prior episodes. The first is when Andrew and John start following after Jesus, He turns around and asks “what are you seeking?” Then later in the garden during Jesus’s arrest, he asks the guards, “who are you seeking?”

So what’s the connection? At the very least it seems like it may have been a clue as to His identity, that Mary just doesn’t pick up on because she is so distraught…

Resurection

Step Into the Dying Light

“After these things Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus, and Pilate gave him permission. So he came and took away his body.  Nicodemus also, who earlier had come to Jesus by night, came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds in weight.”

Here we see two men, who were previously hiding their interest in Jesus, publicly acknowledge him as well as care for his burial. It seems somewhat tragic that they step out of hiding in the dark right as his light fades from the world, but brave nonetheless.